Bathroom Reading
Lagi bosennn!!!
Gw mau posting cerita-cerita lucu aja. Gw kan ngga lucu, jadi tentu aja bukan cerita asli karangan gw…hehe gw dapet cerita-cerita ini dari bathroom reader application alias bacaan buat di toilet 
. Some of them are very entertaining so I decided to share them here…
disclaimer: All author is unknown, so I cannot give the author the credit they deserve…but bless the author for giving me such a hilarious reading in the bathroom
Bathroom Reading #1
The perfect woman
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.
After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, “perfect”.
On one snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along to deliver the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Clause had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Who was the survivor?
(scroll down for the answer)
The perfect woman survived.
Why?
She’s the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. (AHA…SENANGGG)
Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling
So if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving.
This explains why there was a car accident (SIYAL)
By the way, if you’re a woman and reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen either (SIAKEEE…hehehe)
Bathroom Reading #2
The Lord and the Biker
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”
The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied,
“Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
PLAKKK…emang segitu ribetnya ya perempuan? ahem, klo mau jujur sih iya…huehe rasakan para lelaki! You cannot live without us anyway, so live with it *senyummanis, from ear to ear*
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First day of school in an American high school in Washington DC. The teacher introduces the new kid, Suzuki Yamaguchi from Japan to the rest of the class. As the class start, the teacher says:
“Let’s start with a small quiz in American history”. Who said “Freedom or death?” Suddenly silence and only Suzuki raises his hand:
“Patrick Henry, 1775. in Philadelphia.”
“Very good Suzuki”. And who said: “The nation is it’s people and as such can never die?”
Suzuki raises his hand again:
“Abraham Lincoln, 1863, Washington.”
The teacher looks at her students and says:
“Shame on you, Suzuki is a Japanese and know American history better than you.”
A silent voice from the back of the class:
“Go f*ck yourselves, sh*tty Japanese”
“Who said that!?”, yells the teacher.
Suzuki raises his hand and says:
“General MacArthur, 1942, Guadalcanalu, and Lee Iacocca 1982 at the Chrysler management board meeting, Detroit.”
The class is in silence and you can again hear a silent voice:
“Suck my c*ck!!!”
The teacher is furious:
“I’ve had enough. Who said that?”
Suzuki:
“Bill Clinton to Monica Levinsky, Oval Office, 1997 in Washington.”
Another voice yells:
“Suzuki is sh*t!”
Suzuki:
“Valentino Rossi in Rio de Janeiro at the Brazil moto Grand-Prix in 2002.”
The class goes wild, the teacher starts crying, and in walks to the school Principal she said:
“What the hell is going on?, I am going to quit !!”
Suzuki:
“Sri Mulyani, Ministry of Finance, Jakarta, Indonesia, 2010 when KPK auditors were in her office..!!”
huahahahaha… cant help it…
lucu banget… yang di komen atas ini… hahahaha
btw salam kenal ya.. lagi blogwalking nih…