Stories from Rasamala

Momzillas

Pandu gave me 4 novels as our 9th anniversary presents. The present symbolizes that he’s supporting me to do what I love, which is reading novels. One of the novels he gave me is Momzillas by Jill Kargman. I want to read this book since I gave birth to Nara, but it’s so hard to find in Jakarta. This is why he ordered it in Amazon, hehe. Reviewnya Harper’s Bazaar begini: “a sardonic and hugely witty peek inside the highly competitive world of the childrearing set on Manhattan’s Tony upper east side”. Ceritanya tentang kehidupan ibu-ibu muda borju di kawasan paling elit di Manhattan yang lebay (pamer gila) dan kompetitif abis, it should be funny…

Have I read all those books? Nope, not yet. The presents came under one condition, which is: I have to finish 3 parenting books I bought last month See, I bought them, not Pandu…which is why Pandu thinks it’s my obligation to finish what I started…hehe.

Howeveeeeeeer…he allowed me to sneak peek the Momzillas, nyehehe. The novel starts with the glossary of terms and abbreviations used in Momzillas. Here are some terms she (Jill Kargman) defines in the novel. *I re-write it from the novel, hope she doesn’t mind*

Affluenza: Malaise of the extremely wealthy; symptoms include panic over which color Bugaboo to buy and night sweats about which $20,000 pre-preschool to apply to. Common occurrences of dissatisfaction despite comfort of riches

Ball-on-stick: super-skinny pregnant woman who works out like crazy and counts calories, resulting in bony body with uterus as the only evidence of pregnancy. Often wear stilettos.

Blue ribbon birther: mom who brags about her natural childbirth and thinks she deserve a prize for forgoing drugs

Epidural Basher: woman opposed to the use of anesthesia during childbirth. Generally brags about her own long natural labor

Laborspiel: endless, minute-by-minute playback of mom’s labor; often peppered with unsolicited gory details, as it if the first birth in history

LM: Liar Mom; i.e., Madison slept through the night starting at two weeks old

Name Poacher: thief of someone’s already chosen baby name

Nursing Nazis: brigade of vociferous moms who compete over who breast-feeds longer; often judge/bitch out bottle-feeder

P’ N P’: Preggers and Proud; moms-to-e who bare belly in midriff-exposing shirts and/or often rub bump every two seconds. Often gush about how ‘alive’ they feel.

And many more..hihi

Can’t wait to read the whole story